Everybody's changing,

And I don't know why.

So little time,

Try to understand that I'm, 

Trying to make a move just to stay in the game,

I try to stay awake and remember my name,

But everybody's changing,

And I don't feel the same...

The song lyric reflected me so much right now... And yeap~ everybody's changing... 

This post is kinda of 'confession' =)

I'm now sort of ... like wanted to stay away from some of you guys. I feel better for feeling that way, cause maybe I'm jealous =). Honestly, I'm doubting the slogan, BFF or "Best Friends Forever" since long time ago. My feeling towards the word "best friend" just... faded day by day. 

Everyday, I'm looking for people to chat... (Fb many oh! ) ... ...

There is like an obstacle between us, and I just don't want or to chat with you...  I just keep silent... wait and wait, seeing you go "Offline" after that... I felt like, ...*Sigh

Oddly, we're old friends yet close friends... but, I somehow you're stranger to me already. Not like the old days in secondary school, being so talkative to each other and hanging around with each other. 

可能我们都长大了，交了新朋友，环境也不如以前。想法跟着变了... 这次 going home, 我只是为了想看看见见你们... 但，几乎没什么机会吧。不是去读书，不然就是跟新朋友一起度假去... 

是，我是吃醋... 就好像把我忘了似的... I really tried... trying to make a move just to stay in the game~  我们彼此还是那么的冷淡... 

羡慕我能在外国读书？我羡慕你们还能在我国内读书... 羡慕你们离家才几个中距离罢了，羡慕你们能和新朋友一起常常去旅游，羡慕你们吃得，用的都酱便宜，羡慕你们还能跟久朋友在同个地方读书，还有羡慕很多很多... 

我叻？每天一放学就回家... 翻翻面子书... 第二天，同样的... 星期天，整天呆在家... 想找人out 也没什么朋友... 这种日子已重复快三个月了... 还是那样... ，所以《回家》是对我而言是多么的意义，重要... 

人人常说

一个月假期罢了，回家做么？去打工啦～ 有钱人嘛，想回就回啦！几票很贵叻！回家没什么好玩的啦！都没什么朋友在这了，回家很无聊啦！省钱啦！

单单这几句，我听了超心寒的说... 你们根本一点都不懂我的心情... 

我不想说酱多... "I just want to go home..." 

虽然一个月罢了，我还是要回家...

虽然机票贵，我还是要回家...

虽然没什么地方玩，我还是要... 回家

为何？跟老朋友徐徐久，看看家人，亲戚，看看故乡，放松放松... 脱离大城市的压力... 

Still, 跟老朋友见见面还是最重要... 我这一生可能交不多朋友，因为我放不下你们，不想尝试去交新/close friend again。因为那种我们在母校酱close，上了大学后之后被遗忘的朋友感觉我接受不了... 恕我想法不够成熟，我还是我 ... 不想长大... 

But everybody's changing~

因为老实的说，我当有些人已是... "陌生人" 了 =)

Cannot write anymore, 

很想找个"close" friend 来 hug 哈哈～

... ...kinda emo, sorry.

甲乙两人招来一辆出租车。

甲问司机：「去市中心要多少钱？」

司机：「十元。」

甲又问司机：「和我朋友一起去呢？」

司机：「也是十元。」


甲对乙说：「我早就对你说过，你一文不值！」

自闭

没错，就是自闭... “恶魔”终于攻到我了。

心情超低，
很想逃跑，
很想回家，
很想现在在我国留学，
每天没一天是开心的，
每天也聊不上几句, 有时候一天都没讲话，
星期天躲着房里, 翻翻面子书, 看看电影，
想找人聊，也不想不出话题，
讲太多话- 废话问候等等怕你觉得反感，
变得很懒散，
头脑越读越笨，
变得陌生，
也渐渐变了宅男，（哦哦！）
口淡说的不清不出，
有时后发呆，
睡觉睡不好, 几乎每天三更半夜醒来，
每天都觉得好累，
好累...

这考验，我... 一下子没办法接受那么多...
几乎这些都是累计...
觉得自己好没用，好懦弱，又是个爱哭鬼...

越来... 我思想还是那么的不成熟。

发牢骚...

The time is showing 6.02pm...

Kinda headache today, maybe because staying late a night chit chatting with cute friends till at 2.30am! A super duper long chat ... with 400+ comments?!

I don't what so much 废话 lor... I suggest you not to read the whole comments at FB la, because of the some rojak languages, you head gonna dizzy leh.... hihi~ for real ! Tiring and Dizzy! But funny! Using multi-language to comment here comment there... (Imma so proud to know multi-language, nose high high*)

I need to stop here for a while, I feel very sick... gonna take a short nap! *Good evening =)

Time showing 8.16pm


Took an hour nap, had dinner, bath... and feeling better already... still my body feel fatigue and weak...
Still got 35 days before I leave Melbourne and start my first sem break... which would last about a month. I gonna leave here once I finished my exam in the afternoon. Quite hurry eh? ..... my answer is "NO"

You would never know why, until you not having much friends around, eating alone, shopping alone, no supper, no entertainment, travelling alone and your only could socialise with old friends via FB, MSN, or Skype not face no face conversation.

I really wanted to leave here, so, so, so desperately and headed to KL and study. First, money... everything at here is talking about "Money"... 每天ah... 一踏出门... 就"Haihh!" ... Transport fee, food, transport fee, and ...food? Everyday repeating the same thing... You could feel that your wallet is just so thin and flat! 让我告诉你们吧... my montly cost is approximately:

Rent $500

Public Transport $161

Food $100-200 (if daily go outside eat)

=  RM2000-2500

(note: AUD1.00 = RM3.00 usually, check currency... BUT, nowadays currency very high... 3.2 !!!! THIS IS BULLSHIT)

And plus, 房价涨，地价涨，油价涨，电价涨，水价涨，粮价涨，肉价涨，蛋价涨，菜价涨，药价涨，这也涨，那也涨，怎一个涨字了得，涨

and if add another 乱七八糟 thing like subscribing internet, water & electric bills, daily product... could sum up to RM2500-3000+...! This is really a huge amount of money, that's why... No supper, no entertainment, nothing!

关于学业嘛... not good neither... no self motivation, skip classes, neglect study, dunno how to do, dunno what its about, dunno dunno and dunno... seeing ahead exam just in 4 weeks time... I am really afraid gonna fail this time... its not like last year, that I felt so confident that time... why?? Only one word.... "咳"...

This time holiday also not so, so excited about it... when go back also can't meet much old friends... as most of them headed to study already... 我看以后都看不到你们了... 机会少的可怜... 这就是所谓的
《人生》？ I thought I might meet some of them when I come back... 满感伤的说... really... 我等酱久只为了要跟你们团团圆，徐徐久... 但我们没缘分... 只好再等几个月吧...

母亲节要到了... 不像怎样怎样... 因为怕眼泪又要流搞搞～ 自己天我尽量避免看Family type of movie or video... 比如说今天，short video 看了就 tie ma.... 没关系，男人哭不是罪 ~ haha!

Haih.... anyway I really wanted to see you lar... why so fast go study not September de?? Make me kinda emo and disappointing... =( ....
That time don't cry oh~ but cry also nvm.... 男人哭不是罪~ haha~ quoted by you oh!

But really, during these weeks I feel so depressed ... day by day... I really want to escape already... so tired and annoyed... everyday =(

Not even an ice cream or chocolate could cheer me up...

I need a counselling, seriously.