我想要...

1. Home

Nothing is sweeter and warmer than own home! I'm so dying to go back and lie on my own bed, access free unlimited internet, eat everything I like, koyang kaki at home, hanging out, driving and bla bla bla... and too having precious time with these campers as always~ and Home is beautiful as always~

2. Meet Old Friends

No man lives on an island! I need companion! I need socialise! I need outing! I need someone to talk one! I need crazy! T,T Really darn missed the old days... no doubt missing you guys already... Pics? No need show lah~ go see my pictures at Facebook album enough lou~ but still want to show some XD

Check out who changed !! between 2010 and 2011~ 

3. Photography

Rachel!! Daniel!! Next time can we have a one day photography day together or organise something?? I really want to snap snap photos la.... Sometimes I really hate and very frustrated didn't bring my BULKY camera when I missed out of a scenery like today! The weather today was totally a perfect day for photography! With haze filled in the city, golden-ish sunlight, dawn scene, colourful sky with 4-5 distinguish colours, really CANTIK and ARTISTIC 到爆~~~~~~~~ too bad no even a picture taken... camera phone? Not really nice, ... you know why lo~~~ Every times I see lots of good photos, I really got a strong enthusiasm trying to snap a photo as good as them! Sometimes I always miss out Wedding photos, natures, wild animals, landscapes, portraits, events, night photos, macros... Especially photos from National Geographic... Always make me， 

"YEeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee"

"YEeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee"

"YEeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee"

"YEeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee"

"YEeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeekk！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！"

Sem 1 break started yesterday! ...But doesn't looking forward to my 1 week holiday... 

1. Need start to get self studied.

2. Assignment due after holiday.

3. Homework

4. Online homework (Wth)

5. ...Probably fail to do all of above T,T

Technically speaking, I got like like 12days+ holidays...if I skip Thursday and Friday class next week... ehehe! 

Aii.... Saya juga mahu balik kampung... tengok kawan-kawan yang kusayangi... pet yang cute cute belaka... tengok keadaan nephew yang kena ChickenPox (quite severe)... makan makanan yang ku-obsessed... juga ada peluang menambah my berat badan sehingga 90kg (currently 85kg gua?) 

Juga mahu celebrate kawan yang selamat jadi ke-20 pada hari Sabtu ini... lama ku x dengar suaranya... .... mungkin telephone dia esok, despite use all my $$$ credit dalam handphone ku... what to do? Saya rindu him so much already lah.... hahahaha 

Celaka li... my perut calling for food ... amboinyer kalau sekarang ambik keretaku pergi Hiek Lik Cafe dan menikmati "KAMPUA" 

Kalian tahu apakah perasaan saya sekarang? Macam ini loh....

And Happy Easter to all~ I wanted to thank Him so much for answering my prayers! But I don't know how to thank You =\ and  I'm truly sorry that I couldn't do much for You too=\ =\ =S

我发现我最近说话好像很今人反感。我也不想... 最近也是没什么特别。还是照着无趣的生活过，可看到和读到令我反感的东西。也许这随我语言上... 咳, summarized 起来我的头脑很多垃圾堆着... 很多东西学不进...我真的真的需要心里辅导，meditate 也行...? 最好到宁静的地方就是了... 我也不需要太多朋友... 有几位真正的朋友就够了。太多感觉上很麻烦，这个不和，那个不和，一起出来也尴尬... 你发生了事情也要为你当心...

Just random thoughts. Don't care about it too much. I just need a good rest... back there...
保重

As the time pass, I felt Facebook is giving me more and more depression... I don't know. Just felt somehow like that - uneasy, unpleasant, many fakers, naive, spams, lots of narcissists, philosophers (as if), ignore...[Rachel, 2011]

I feel the 'old' time is better, far ... far better than the present. 

Internet, you stole my time.

Internet, you stole my life.

Internet, you create a lot of toooot*

Internet, you bla bla bla...

Disagree? Well, think cook cook then... 

By the way, you did actually thought a lot when you are alone. 

Ok, I might be depressed right now. (Well, I'm)

Another thing... my grammar is greatly degraded. Just like 股票～跌倒哭哭哭（谷谷谷）～

If you ask me to write an essay, I could barely elaborate it. 

Out of topic! Hmm, what's my topic? 

No point! Dunno ar... 

I think I'm sot ... really lack of sleep these days. I don't know... just don't wanna sleep. Lazy go to school, head for lecture classes too! Just like this week... didn't went for Monday, and Thursday lecture class already. Its so hard to get out from the warm bed! And consequently, I couldn't catch up my study. Well... even though I went for the class, also tia bo ...then zzZzzzzZ.... I know you guys also did it too issit??~ hahah!

Talk a lot, but what what? Random post nia... talk song... comment song song... express my thought song song song... 

You, I hate your attitude.

You, I hate your narcissistic.

You, I hate your 'duck' face. (Dunno what's that? GOOGLE it )

You, I hate your ...

You, I hate your ...

Ya,... I talk song only... I complain song only... so what? 

I dunno why I wrote all these... I'm just write down everything flashing in my head spontaneously.

Nevertheless... its Friday! I really, need 加油 and start self study by now...I'm falling far, far behind on everyone else. Sometimes, 封闭self not a bad thing too... I want become "a frog under a shell". 

At least I don't know the world at outside, your condition, your life or everything. The world is dirty enough... Sorry for saying these, it is so easy to 胡思乱想 ... The hypothesis is accepted.

Bye.

无奈

没错，就是觉得无奈！

我无奈！突然想家，什么都想，也很想看到熟悉的东西和面孔！

我无奈！等你的电话等了一整夜！结果没打来... 觉得有点难过，失望... 我已想了好多话题跟你聊...

（PS: 不要乱想～ 老实跟你说，不是女生～ 是男生！更加不要乱想！只是想跟很久没听到他的声音罢了！也有事情找他！）

我无奈！我不懂为何觉得我好孤独！一点... 我说，连一点点的娱乐和朋友气氛也没有！没人陪我聊，没人陪我一起去逛街，没人陪我吃午饭，没人有陪我三八，总是一个人。就是觉得总是一个人在沙漠里一直走，一直走。

我无奈！为何进不了你们的世界？我的世界好闷... 我觉得在浪费我的青春！一点刺激，值得回忆的东西都没有！我好想进入你们的世界，进入你们的故事！已三年了... 我还是创造不了什么

我无奈！几乎都错过没有拍下来您的伟大发明！每次回家的路上，那天空的景色... 美到... 都不能用话来形容！咳... 相机又不能随身带... 加上 schooling time... 哪可能带去啦... 除非去Holiday啦... 这拍那拍...

无奈... 真的，以后见面的机会，几乎是少的可怜...

好像去去的海边吹吹风，或宁静的森林里面走走，或去哪里哪里散散心... 好多垃圾在我的脑海里堆着... 很想排斥掉 ! 顺便拍拍照，留留纪念... 开心就好。

 我在某某地方看到很有意思的话，然后去 internet googled 了一下，

"For I know the plans I have for you, declares the LORD, plans for welfare^b and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope. 12Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will hear you. 13You will seek me and find me, when you seek me with all your heart. 14I will be found by you, declares the LORD, and I will restore your fortunes and gather you from all the nations and all the places where I have driven you, declares the LORD, and I will bring you back to the place from which I sent you into exile."   [Jeremiah 29:11]

After I read them, I feel soothed... but just for temporarily... I'm lack of determination and inspiration as well as faith... =(

我就是酱...《无奈》

Nightmare

*Can ignore this entries because it just 废话 and just simple simple elaborate things in my mind

Today, I think I just had my first nightmare... I don't know it was my first or not, because this one... seriously beats my heart out and forced me to wake up! Ruining my beauty sleep! (*As if...)

It was about a car accident. Couldn't think much of the details... you know la... dream ma! Starts, ends anywhere, anytime! I woke up when the car starting to fall... Yoo~ the concept like...

Ok back to topic... All I knew we are having our holiday together, in a car travelling to 'dunno-where-destination' on a high sea level road... Yap, "We"~ means there are other victims that I knew in my dream LoL...! 

*Not gonna mention who and who... I knew who're the victims haha~ including the driver! I'm a passenger~ 

Story is quite short actually~ nothing to elaborate, then skip to the intense part ba! 

~~~~~~~CIU~~~~~~~~

The road we travelled is so narrow like the road to Genting Highlands~ then someone began to 'feel' playful... cincai kacau sana sini... then others get addicted too... you know la... some friends really gila gila one... might know who who liao hoh?? you know I know laaaaaaa~~~ wahahaha~ Ok, happy time is short... I mean      R E A L short... Due to the strong virus... our driver... only me know who is him XP... and therefore he get addicted too! 

Our driver also want to show his 'playfulness'... he accelerated the car at full speed when taking at sharp corners! His purpose just wanted to scare scare us niaa... but 乐成了灾... the car lose control and *Wham! 

Car flies flies like in cartoon~ the car kept pusing and pusing... At this point! I hope it was a dream at that time! (Which it is ...lol) ... but it feels like reality! I hold on the car headrest just in case not to fall out from the vehicle something!

But after that, I opened my eyes... I stared at the ceiling... shocked, and had a flashback. My hearts pumping rapidly and fiercely... I could feel it... All I remember is we had a car accident, but with close friends inside... it really haunts me... because I was afraid! I know it was just a dream, but it was so real!! 真的很怕有一天你不在了!... 要好好的活Ok ?? 

OK, bed time story ends! Goodnight!

2 months left

Yeerr....! Thanks for the courage guys~ A short replies to ...

Rachel, afraid your small shoulder crushed by me... X)

Emy, so you will ignore me if I didn't type out your name?? Got 2-4 la... so hard to get a good circle of friends only... =)

Doreen, 某某人就是某某人～ *Don't piak me! Thanks for 想我 @><@

Danny, I really surprised you still 飘~~~~~ around here! Actually quite happy and relief seeing you here haha! Btw~ don't wanna worry or bother you too much leh! Study smart and remember to relax 一下哦 ... you can do it! 

--------------------------------------------------------

Back to topic

Well, approximately still need to survive for another two months at here! Tension is building up slowly because the assignments are still left untouched at the corner of the wall, left out important lecture classes (but still fall "ZZzzzzZ" even attend for it...) and.... er... err....errr... oh ya! Maths! Sometimes really headache when talking about Maths because...

many new new formulas ah! and long long of writing! also think hard hard when doing application thingy! 

*OH my gosh~~ 

Emm, dunno what to talk about liao lo...

... 

... 

... 

... 

... 

... "Oh"~ 

I've been browsing photos from 2009 to 2011 ! Hmm, currently I'm still browsing through them ... because too much photo snapping by me~ hahaha~ including self potrait of course la... Mai feel guai guai de ar... you no meh??? Don't lie me lar!! 

...and yap~ of course deleting lots of crappy photos(blurred, no topics, weird angle and lots of rubbish)~ I actually laugh at myself after looking all of these photos! *Ironically~ 

But yeah... many many memories... from sweet to bitter... how from sweet to bitter ah? Like this lo~

 Yea, bitter... seeing my 'oink-oink-look-alike' hamster... I missed them so much...

Sweet~ when remembering with few old friends putting up my puzzle of Stitch together~ 

"You guys" still remembered this yeah? That time Daniel is so obsessed with to finish it ! Haha! Every time no place 'sok geh' always come my house having fun~ by the way, it a photo from 2009 ... miss the old days of course!

And these.... are somehow sour one ba...

These were on the day I was having my 'last' breakfast with them in 2009 before I leave Sarikei in the morning for further study... I still remember I left in a hurry without saying goodbye to them as I received a call from Mom that time, telling me need to get home asap to prepare and leave =( 

Thanks Ah Rong too~ for ruining his on-the-way to breakfast with his family, by hopping in my car just to accompany me hahaha~ And thanks Leo for making me cried when he called me... He asked, "Oii, where are you?". I couldn't reply because I cried when hearing my friend's voices. I just hanged up and sms-ed him that I was preparing my stuffs. I didn't know he did heard of me crying or not at that time hehehe~ My heart is just so heart-breaking at that time... Just keep on crying, crying and crying... its so hard to leave everything behind  - Family, friends, surrounding, my home, pets for the first time...

Can't talk much liao arr... haih, when looking at the old photos~ everybody changes! Physically, mentally, or whatever-ly ~ just so missing the old times jiu si lo! 

But I still want continue to talk arr.... very 38 le??? Because still so many photos to share and talk about =\ 

Anyway~ goodnight lor~ and dedicate this song to all my friends ~ he's a good singer and got an amazing voice!

*Sorry a bit out of topic hahaha~ *

*Ignore if you want!
*Ignore! [Rachel, 2011]